Badger unt Benzine.

[[TK!] Monstrum]

Sat in hovel in wood today. Had bashed peasant. Mundung crawled through door. Almost shot. Said "here?". "Yes", I said. Made campfire. Cooked badger. Mundung trouble eating all. I laughed. He made funny face. Then managed eat all. After, wanted throw sticks from bridge in water. But americans destroyed it. So killed them instead. Mundung wanted try my rifle. Said ok. After needed pills and left. So restarted experiments with pointy sticks and eyeballs. Replaced most of left eye liquid. Vision funny. Probably temporarily.

[[TK!] Lüge]

2004-09-18
We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. They took hold of Mundung that is. Or wait. We weren't anywhere near Barstow. We were on the edge of the Forest. Or somewhere. Creventz was reading the map, so it was a bit hard to tell. Anyway, the drugs took hold of Mundung, and he claimed that he suddenly understood everything that Creventz said. The order was to enter the sewers that we just had found. All of us. And we did. I don't really know why we did, but I'm the new kid around here and I don't dare to ask too many questions.

We walked some distance in the filthy water, while Mundung carefully listened to our valiant leader's instructions. Everyone assumed he was giving orders, but we later found out that he had just been telling Mundung how the smell in the sewers reminded him of his mother's kitchen.

Suddenly a shark appeared out of nowhere! A shark! It swam right past Pestel and Bad Mojo and attacked Florian. Nearly bit him in half, it did. I hurried forward and put a bullet in the vile creature's brain just in time. Florian was losing a lot of blood however, so I carefully picked him up and turned around. I was all alone. Everyone else had scattered. I had to search for an exit on my own. Scores of giant alligators had tasted the blood in the water and came running at me. While I still had ammo left I could kill them easily enough, but I had only brought a couple of extra clips. Even though every single bullet resulted in a headshot, I soon ran out of ammo. With my knife, I could probably had carved a way to freedom through heaps of dead alligators, but Florian was a bit heavy, and I hadn't trained much lately. Besides, the water nearly reached my armpits. I had to find some other way out ...

My eyes turned upwards, and I spotted cracks in the ceiling. So I leapt out of the water, parted my legs in a split and placed my feet on the walls on either side of the tunnel. In this position, still holding on to Florian, I started stabbing the concrete with my knife. One hour later, I could crawl through the hole I had made in the ceiling and drag Florian to safety. Phew.

[[TK!] Monstrum]

2004-10-20

Sat in cage today. Had plan. Should kill many badgers. Take skins. Dress up, and hide in woods. Good for ambush. Someone interrupted. Talked. Looked. Was Rubentz, sitting outside cage. Said: "Want learn all, great one. Teach!" First got irritated. Then got idea. Said: "Ok. First lesson: Kill all badgers in forest." He ran. I alone again. Very good.

[Guest]

Return of Monstrum
2004-12-07

Lay in barracks. Looked ceiling. Brooded. First time, felt wounds. Hurt earlier, in battle. Now pain. Blood from chest and legs. Strange. Never felt earlier. Must be ill.
Got up. Very tired. Looked mirror. Saw ghost. Not real ghost, but almost. Walked out backyard. Young recruits playing nade-game. Blood and fingers everywhere. Very funny. Should be. Was not. Must be ill.
Sky was grey. Mud on ground. Felt very strange. Suddenly realized: No bloodlust!
Got inside. Packed bag. Met Rubentz on way out. Gave shovel.
"Wont’t need", explained.
"Fight with fists?" asked.
I silent. Left Elbenshovf.
Walked hills. Forests. Days and days. Feet hurt. Legs hurt. Arms hurt. Chest hurt. Head hurt. Saw badger once. Not even hungry. Walked past.
Finally sat on stone at lake. Watched self in still water. Dark, old forest. Rotten fallen trees. Moss and lichen. Must have slept. Fell into water. Shock. Cold wet woke me. Struggled tangling roots. Strange feelings. Hidden in brain. Something forgotten. Old things returning ...
And then, suddenly, my mind flipped around and stabilized in a familiar state of crystal clarity and control. All of my long lost memories returned, and once again I was myself. Myself, as I had been, before I meddled in things that man was not meant to touch? No, not quite. The beast I had unleashed, unwittingly, was still there, though his violent urges and desires for the moment was slaked. I could feel him in my chest. And now, unlike before, I was able to admit his nature as a part of my own.
"I will keep this name they have given me", I declared as I reemerged from my cold and watery grave. ”As a reminder, yes, and as a sign of acceptance.”
I returned to my comrades as quickly as my weary legs could carry me. No one recognized me at first. Apparantly, my appearance had changed to reflect my inner self. So they fired their weapons at me. Luckily, their aim had not improved during my absence. I was in no real danger.
"Hold your fire, imbeciles!" I cried as I approached them.
"It is I, the beast i your cage, set free at last!"
There was surprise in their eyes. I smiled benevolently at them, and gave them a few patronizing pats on their heads.
"But the cage is broken now, you see. The bars can no longer hold me. I have escaped the House of Pain," I said.
The faces in front of me were blank. They didn’t understand. They had, most likely, not even heard of H. G. Wells.
"I speak of Conscience, of course, and Morals and all those artificial bonds I used to fetter my soul with. I even made this concoction you see, an alchemical experiment. I tried to separate my vile and vicious side and be rid of it altogether. But I failed, of course, and turned into ... that beast, that Monstrum ..."
Creventz picked his nose, rolled the snot into a little ball and flicked it away with his finger. "Who haz broken ze cage? Stoopid. Where schall Monstrum schleep?"
"No, no, no," I protested. "I was speaking metaphorically. My violent, animal side, you know. I no longer deny it."
I shot one of the young recruits with my pistol, to illustrate my point. Creventz scratched his head in confusion.
Then Maharaja appeared, at the doors of the kitchen, with his turban replaced with a chef’s hat.
"Nade brunch prepared. Oh, yes. Badger, rice and curry. Bring plates or helmets. Got knives and forks in chef’s hat."
And everyone ran off, instead of listening to me. Anyway, I’m back. That’s what really matters.

//Monstrum

[[TK!] Rubentz]

Do you want your shovell back now Monstrum?

[[TK!] Monstrum]

2004-12-24

Returned from forest today. Been away long time. Slept naked weeks in snow. When woke up, bloodlust back. Good. Beard long. Pulled hard. Most gone now.

When back Elbenshovf, met man who said was Monstrum. Got angry. Had no shovel, so bashed unconscious with fists. Ripped mask. Was Lüge. Evil bastard. Pretended was me long time. Nobody knew, though said stupid things. Everyone stupid. Only me sane. Dragged Lüge to forest, put in hole. Use as badger bait.

Back anyway. Is what matters.

[[TK!] Monstrum]

2005-02-06

Went city today. Gave shovel to kid. Taught bashing. Very good. Killed several peasants. Maybe good soldier later.

Used little wagon. Very funny first. Then wouldn't stop. So killed driver. Then stopped. Peasants ran. Men with guns came. No rifle. No shovel (gave kid). So sneaked away in shadows. Will kill later.

Now was at unfamiliar houses. Found Mundung with girl. And gimp. Dragged out before too late. Mundung. Not gimp. Left gimp in closet. Mundung very hungry. Shaky hands, like drugged. Maybe was drugged also. Don't know. "Will find badger", I said. "Know place", he said. Went to little hut. People inside. And badgers on sticks, rolling above fire. We ate many slices. And potatoes. Mundung ate green stuff also. I tasted, but not more. Shouldn't eat green stuff. Look like old bad badger meat. Thought of bad badger made rumble in stomach. Used latrine behind hut. Then felt better. Killed people in hut anyway.

After went back to Elbenshovf. Lost Mundung on way. Maybe returned to girl. And gimp.

[[TK!] Monstrum]

2005-02-26

Guarded bridge today. Silly americans came. Shot many. Others fled. Felt good. Was about pursue when Creventz called on radio. Said: "Come peasant hut. Very funny." Strange order. But followed.

In hut many peasants. Drunk and dancing. Playing loud music on piano. Creventz just arrived. Gollwitzer already there. Fraternize with peasants. I look sternly. "Could be spies", said. "Not reveal plans!" Gollum and Vrec ignore. Talk about Elbenshovf. Told girls they had big badgers. Then laughed. Very strange. Took Gollum aside. Should give orders. But he climb lap, whispered: "My prrrreciousss!" Threw him away. Broke furniture. Silly peasants jump and scream. I show nasty grin. All fled. Much better. When alone played piano and showed impressive monster agility to empty room. Then went back to bridge. Good day.

[[TK!] Creventz]

2005-02-26

Got Frindz frooo Nortz vizitininging myzelf tzu town inna tze snowy hell of hier. Wi hat drei litrnen oo tze fineschen benzinen. Wi wänt tzo clogtanzen Adolf Hilter. Mi unt Gillwitzuaktx font gut badger unt many kulluakt ladiy. Mi unt Frindz got awai frum Monstrikts. Hi dizplayed foolizh behafir when he tink eferyone lett off. Mi font gut farmgirl again tzo nurzen me back to healx all nit lonk.

/Vrec got lucky

[[TK!] Mundung]

2005-06-15

Strange it may seem but the utterly ugly Ickmund left Elbenshovf and went to town yesterday. Had I not seen it for myself I would not have belived it. He has not been there since last summers incidents. Then he got chased down the streets by a crowd of poor french peasent who got offendend by his looks. Had it not been for Elmer and Foe, or more precicely the stench of Foe, Ickmund would propably have ended up on a travelling cirkus as the "Scary bastard". Alas, we are worried now, I hope he survives the citystreets. Hopefully he brings back a box of nicely agedTempranillo.

/Mundung

[[TK!] Foe]

Is cleaning up after Ickmund, he left in a hurry leving all sort of things in the barracks mostly bits of food and badgerpelts... He even left his trusted k 98... it worries me why did he leave his. Probably to heavy, it was the canned badgerfeet he toked instead that was the reason, icky and his canned badgerfeet...

Not worried anymore remembered that icky has live most his life in his mothers basement and that is the most scary and dangerous place I know so not to worrie folks.....

[[TK!] Monstrum]

2005-07-29

Trained with pistols today. Shot Bad Mojo and Maharaja. Both survived. Would never happen with shovel. Also shot by strange ninja when looked other way.

Went to town afterwards. Noisy peasant market with music. Took cover inside hovel with Mundung, Bad Mojo, Strindberg and unfamiliar peasants. Met drunken fairy. "Keep", said Bad Mojo. "No", said I. "Got no bottle to put in." Went out. Music very loud now. Put stuff in ear, make less noisy. Met Creventz, and later Raus and Psyche serving peasants coffee. Very strange. Saw Hammerhai in distance when watching crazy trolls sing. In late night saw demon. Dark wings. Wanted shoot it, but had no gun. Drop kicked girl in face with help from Bad Mojo instead. Then went home. Funny day.

[[TK!] Sschwede]

2005-07-30

After a very geheime mission in tze nortzern latitudes, ven Sschwede heading back tzo Elfbenshovf yday, he sat down for a quick rest on his new Russian coat. Sitting tzere enjoying tze great landscape vit his new Russian binoculars, he just by chance saw a homely ninja pistoling at his colleagues Bad Mojo und Maharaja. Sschwede react fast und tze ugly ninja is hit from his K98. Vat his friends doing up tzere in tze middle of nowhere he never found out.

Later ven passing tzrough a small village he ordered coffee pretending he vas a local shepherd. Tze vaiters most sure put sometzing in his coffee coz after a vhile Sschwedes brains running vild, und he believe seeing his master Monstrum passing him vit zwei badgers in his ears und soldiers reported MIA doing tze catwalk. Later ven Sschwede is almost convinced tzat it is actually Kommandeur Creventz vit Raus und Psyche tzat are tze vaiters, he run of vitout paying und did not stop running untzil his ass vas back under tze vings of tze Fokker.

Sschwede vill never order coffee in tze nortz no more

Note: If those events really was witnessed by Sschwede, or not, is for no one to find out. Not even Sschwede could tell…

[[TK!] Sschwede]

2005-09-03

Ven Sschwede sat under tze Fokker playing vit shovel und bayonet Exerzierleiter Mundung called tze hangar. Sschwede vas ordered tzo stand by, fully armed, und vait for him.

Tzen Mund und Sturm entered tze hangar. Tzis vas tze day! Tze day ven Sschwede und Sturm had tzo settle. Sschwede und Sturm both refused tzo apology each other. Tze tzo frontkameraden just smiled und both looked forward having a good single combat. Mund said tzat before tzere could be any fight tzey all had to finish tze benzin he brought. Keine protests und tzey all sat down undzer tze vings of tze Fokker. Hours later Mund ordered his combats tzo join a party tzat tze Kriegsmarine vhere having outside of Elfbenshofv. First after tzat tzeir private var could begin.

Tzey all entered tze Marine und more benzin vas ordered. Later ven Exerzierleiter Mundung started tzo pee at tze boots of tze Fregattenkapitän, und on all others tzat vas passing him, Sschwede und Sturm put tzeir fingers at tze safety catch on tzeir veapons und prepared tzo fight tze matroses of tze Kriegsmarine. But ven tzey looked at Sschwede und Sturm tze Marines decided not tzo.

Much later ven Sschwede und Sturm valking tze streets back tzo Elfbenshovf tzey both knew tzat from tzis day tzey vill only fight side by side und tzeir dispute vas forgotten.

[[TK!] Mundung]

2005-09-23

Tzo. I have a lot to tell.

Wen't up to pay the norhern occupational forces a visit two months ago. Compared to the eastern front the northern front is like a vacation, with a twist. Surprisinlgy i stumbled on Creventz, Mojo and Monstrum who also turned up at the spot. So there we where, Florian, Maharaja, Crevetnz, Monstrum, Mojo and me. What else were there to do than have a benzinefest? Nothing of course.

After a two day long brawl with lots of benzine and a few badgers I had to leave for the front again.

Back in the east i met up with Sturm and Sschwede. We got at top secret vision...err.. mission from Creventz to sink a very important troup transport ship. We managed to get ourself onboard dispite our feeble condition. I got very disoriented when entering the ship, probably seasick. Instead of pouring water in to the ship I started pouring water out of the ship. Then I lost contact with Sturm and Sschwede and decided to walk back to base.

/mundung

[[TK!] Monstrum]

2005-09-26

Bought bols gin today. For cleaning cage. Walked town afterwards. Met Bad Mojo. "Eat something", I said. "Eat something", he said. So we did. Ate much more than silly Mojo. Very funny. Later found evil looking vehicle at shop. "Buy", said Mojo. "Ok, but must get money", said I. Returned later alone and bashed shop owner instead. Then take black vehicle. Very good. Now reach enemies faster. More bashing for me.

[[TK!] Monstrum]

2005-12-29

Was in deep snow today. Trees white. Ground white. Monstrum white. On outside. Black within. Radio buzzed. Was Creventz. "Saw little dots on sky today. Thought were fliez! Slow slow fliez. Zhen zhey dropped little piecez of shit I zhink, so I cover beard with ze hands. Hate shit in beard. Still have left from last benzinefest, when puke in latrine ... But not shit. Was food. In boxes. Shit in air. Not shit in beard. Or maybe both? But shit in air was food. In boxes. Very strange. Come eat."

So I go. Brought Maharaja. Ickmund also came, and Florian and Sturm and Strindberg and tall ugly peasant. Ate food. Then bashed peasant and left. Very funny.

[[TK!] Monstrum]

2007-02-15
Walked village today. Battle poems in head. Great great poem. Then met Mundung. "Eat?" I said. "Why not?" he said. "Got strange plague", I said. Showed rotting hand. He shrugged. So forced ugly peasant cook. Ate flat bread with badger pieces. Mundung wanted mashed badger on his. "Will make war story", I said. "Good", said he. "Make pictures also, so Raja understand. Also look for new shovel, so can fight."

Then got bored. Walked home. Chased peasants with stick.

[[TK!] Sschwede]

2007-05-09
Mund said Keine Morphine. Sschwed said Keine Benzine.
Mund said Nicht Gut. Sschwed said Yes, Nicht Gut.
Mund gave Sschwed Neu Uniformen. Sschwede ntz kopf zo pleazed he vill hide both Munds und Crews secret files for Gestapo-Müller. Hamburg says Nicht Gut.
Mund knew Sschwed have funny pills ven nicht serving tze Eastern front. Doctor's ordinatzion.
Munds eyes said Give Mund. Sschwed distract Munds brainz vit caffeine und soon Exerzierleiter forgets all about tze funny pills till itz tzo late,,,

[[TK!] Monstrum]

2010-03-23
Had dream of Mundung tonight. "Must wake up", he said. "Time to eat." So awoke. Very tired. Sun not even set yet. Smashed out of cage anyway, staggered to town on wounded knee. Met Mundung. "Where is rifle?" I asked. "Mostly use pipe-bombs now", he said. Then: "Where is shovel?" I felt strange. Like when all enemies dead, no one left to bash. Or when Creventz say: "No! These peasants not for experiments. Put back bonesaw in closet." Or when very hungry and no badger. "Lost shovel", I said. Then could not speak. Ate chinese badgers instead. Then limped home.